I always have this thought when BIG nature calls for me in public places... What kinda position would you choose - the seated one or the squatting one? In case you dunno what I am talking about... it's shitting, or "da bian" in chinese, "pang sai" in hokkien. I try not to shit in public toilets if i can help it. I mean... look at those toilets... damp, stinko, with all kinds of things found on the floor... tissue paper, strips of receipts, sanitary pads, comb and handphone, if you are lucky!
Ok, the position. In terms of comfort, of course it's the seated method; those with super strong legs will take the squat method, else it would probably give you a cramp in your thighs after about 10mins of releasing those waste from your body. I'm referring to squatting at the toilet bowl dug in the ground, not squat ON the seated-kind of toilet bowl. I think only a gymnast or someone who is damn good at balancing will adopt the latter method. Despite the comfort in the seated position, don't you think it's very unhygienic to sit on a plastic plank where minutes ago, there maybe just someone who had just finished a cross country run and decided to take a poo there? Imagine sweat dripping from his forehead... down to his back and drip from the waist and land on the support of the toilet bowl???? I've heard of placing toilet paper around the seat before sitting down... oh well... quite an acceptable method I must say... but there are other things to worry about - the LANDING of the feces.
Even if you are very satisfied with the cleanliness of the toilet seat, don't you worry about the way your waste land in the toilet bowl? What if it's a super heavy piece of last night's dinner (smoked turkey with bacon and ham plus a bowl of Caesar Salad) that falls into the pool of toilet water, causing a loud "splat" sound and not to mention it splashing its way back to your a**? So in retrospect, the squatted position would minimise such consequences. Why? Because you can choose to position yourself slightly further away from the pool of water in the toilet bowl (do they have a term for that by the way?) and allow your feces to land on the walls of the toilet bowl... erm if you know what I mean. But as I've said, it's not an easy task to squat throughout your "nature-calls journey". So perhaps the best method worth considering is the "horse-stance" pose. Think chinese kung-fu. When a pugilist needs to master some kind of swordplay which requires substantial amount of qi, he would adopt the horse-stance in the beginning. This position will not make you suffer legs cramps as you can choose to move your body vertically up and down during the process, and you can avoid the water from splashing onto your a** given the reasonable distance between your a** and the toilet bowl.
Let's recap the method of shitting. (1) Seated, (2) Squat - on seated and non-seated designed toilet bowls, (3) "Horse-stance". Not easy being a human being.... we have to make decision every second. So, what are you having for lunch later?
Ok, the position. In terms of comfort, of course it's the seated method; those with super strong legs will take the squat method, else it would probably give you a cramp in your thighs after about 10mins of releasing those waste from your body. I'm referring to squatting at the toilet bowl dug in the ground, not squat ON the seated-kind of toilet bowl. I think only a gymnast or someone who is damn good at balancing will adopt the latter method. Despite the comfort in the seated position, don't you think it's very unhygienic to sit on a plastic plank where minutes ago, there maybe just someone who had just finished a cross country run and decided to take a poo there? Imagine sweat dripping from his forehead... down to his back and drip from the waist and land on the support of the toilet bowl???? I've heard of placing toilet paper around the seat before sitting down... oh well... quite an acceptable method I must say... but there are other things to worry about - the LANDING of the feces.
Even if you are very satisfied with the cleanliness of the toilet seat, don't you worry about the way your waste land in the toilet bowl? What if it's a super heavy piece of last night's dinner (smoked turkey with bacon and ham plus a bowl of Caesar Salad) that falls into the pool of toilet water, causing a loud "splat" sound and not to mention it splashing its way back to your a**? So in retrospect, the squatted position would minimise such consequences. Why? Because you can choose to position yourself slightly further away from the pool of water in the toilet bowl (do they have a term for that by the way?) and allow your feces to land on the walls of the toilet bowl... erm if you know what I mean. But as I've said, it's not an easy task to squat throughout your "nature-calls journey". So perhaps the best method worth considering is the "horse-stance" pose. Think chinese kung-fu. When a pugilist needs to master some kind of swordplay which requires substantial amount of qi, he would adopt the horse-stance in the beginning. This position will not make you suffer legs cramps as you can choose to move your body vertically up and down during the process, and you can avoid the water from splashing onto your a** given the reasonable distance between your a** and the toilet bowl.
Let's recap the method of shitting. (1) Seated, (2) Squat - on seated and non-seated designed toilet bowls, (3) "Horse-stance". Not easy being a human being.... we have to make decision every second. So, what are you having for lunch later?
2 comments:
wau lau eh...so explicit!!!
but it really speaks my mind leh...hahaha
you really make me look like an idiot laughing away at my computer screen!!
ah the veil of simplicity has been limited to reveal the sublevel subtlties of shite.
i bow...squat...waddle in humbleness of seated one.
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