The One

Are you currently having The One.. job you dream of? And have you ever been to job interviews where they ask you to rank Job Satisfaction, Money, Distance, Environment, Job Security, Status in order of their importance to you? If you have put job satisfaction as the most important factor and money as lesser importance, you most probably would have gotten the job - congrats to you.

I remembered I was telling my interviewer how I want to meet with challenges everyday in my job and money is not a factor at all if I like what I am doing, blar blar blar.... Do I really mean what I said? Hell no! Whoever don't think money is the No. 1 reason, he is a BIG liar! Take a scenario, there are 2 job offers for you now... (1) To work in a super fast-paced environment with thousands and one problem waiting for you to solve and after every issue resolved, your boss will commend on your good work, you feel very satisfied with yourself but there is not a single penny pay rise for 10 years (and your pay is already peanuts). (2) A very boring job, doing the same thing over and over again... no challenging issue for you to crack your braincell and you are taking home 2 times an average person is getting per annum. SEE? An excellant illustration there.

I am always thinking... do we work to live or we live to work? But sadly, a lot of Singaporeans are dragging themselves to work on the MRT every morning. We have 24 hours in a day. An average person sleep 8hrs a day, work 9hrs (without OT that is), travelling time to and fro work 2hrs, meal & bathroom time 3hrs.. how many hrs have we left?? 2 HOURS! What the hell can you do? That is why Singaporean past time is to watch the TV (and goddamnit our TV programmes sux).

Are only Singaporeans like that I wonder.. cos what I heard was the my fellow sister companies in Europe are working at a very slow pace. Task which we are expected to do within 1week, they take 1month. And not to mention, their average wage per person is 3 times more than us and mind you, we are working for the same organisation. Their working hrs are from 9am to 4pm.. and no meeting after 6pm. Their dinners last for at least 3hrs, starting with appetizer, soup, entree, deserts and end off with a cup of coffee; not like us gobbling down our food in foodcourts or rushing to finish our dinner so we can start to tutor our kids on their surmounting school work, wheras they have the luxury to catch up with friends on jolly good times or cultivate family ties at the dinner table.

The best thing that could ever happen in life is getting an occupation which you don't feel it is a job at all. A sportman would be the ideal occupation ya? An NBA player - people pay you for going for their trainings, you get free apparels; don't have to waste money on corporate suits or make-ups... and you are earning more than an average joe is in his lifetime. People cheer for you on games.. you get occasional scolding from the coach but that will not threaten your career at all. When you score, SENSE OF SATISFACTION overwhelm you. The best part is, you get paid when you are injured and off the season; basically is you do nothing and people sympathise with you and you even get free first-class treatment from the specialists. When you are on MC in our world, you get scrutinisation on whether are you faking your illness (screw them!).

As a human being brought to this world, do we live Life or do Life live us? *sigh*

Shitty Biz

I have received numerous responses from my previous topic "Holly Shit!" and here I am to share with my audience some bazaar contributions, some of which you may identify with. Ha!

Remember I mentioned about the balancing act of squatting on the toilet bowl. I have recently found out the secret of mastering this stance and also give me the glory to discover this gymnast talent in my friend. It all boils down to locating your CG (Center of Gravity) - Support yourself using your hand to hold onto both sides of the cubicle walls. Isn't it amazing?! Moreover being a good citizen, she is not one who dirties the toilet flap. She risks her dear life by squatting onto the toilet bowl with the seat up! I dunno about you but I am surely impressed. Haven't try this out thou... Still bear the fear of falling into the toilet bowl.

Did you noticed that the seated toilet bowls in our country comes in 2 designs? One of which is the one we usually have at home, i.e the water level us about 1-hand deep (Doubt my measurement? Go try it) and the other type are the ones with a whole pool of water with depth the length from your fingers to the elbow. You will most often find these in big shopping centres and hotels. Seriously, what advantages are there for these categorization. Isn't the latter a worse option? More water in the toilet bowl = more chances of getting the water splash up your ass? Anyone knows the reason?

Most people will be embarassed when they shit in public toilets because of the noises they made when the waste dropped into the water and creating a "plat"sound. Hence various methods are adopted to minimise this sound especially when you know someone is using the cubicle next to yours. One method I heard is to control the feces - flush everytime you feel the shit is reaching the water. Another method is to put a lot of toilet paper into the bowl so that it will create some kind of sound-absorbing effect. Maybe the Save water and Save paper campaigns should start from the toilet users.

I personally like the toilets in aeroplanes. They do not have a pool of water in their toilet bowls. Instead, their flush is so strong that no waste will be left on the toilet bowl walls. Kudos to the inventor of this type of toilet. Hope they implement this soon to all the public toilets.. or they can have audible music in all the public toilets to save users from the embarassment of shitting/peeing too loudly. We should think out of the box. A toilet is not necessary the one we see everyday. More effort should be put into inventing one which provide a comfortable and stress-free 15min of toxic release.

Wedding bells chiming away...

"From this moment…life has begun
From this moment…your are the one
Right beside you is where i belong
From this moment on
From this moment…i have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love i’d give my last breath
From this moment on..." - Shania Twain

I have always wanted this to be my wedding march song, although several hundreds of weddings would have played this song. I deeply believe in the lyrics; believe that marriage is sacred, marriage means the union of 2 person from different background to come and live 1 life together, to bring new lives into this world and to grow old together.
What triggered me to write about Marriage is that many of my friends are getting married or already had. I am 25 this year... one-third into a normal human life span. 1st one-third of the life would be to learn and cultivate to become the person you want to be for this lifetime.... which is why we get ourselves an education, or to learn skills for survival. 2nd third of a human life would be to put your skills into use for survival sake. In the midst of it, most people would feel pretty aimless doing all these everyday and decided to find someone to share the joy, laughter, woes with and this is when we, get married. The last third of our life would be to reap what we had painfully havested for the 2nd third of our life. So technically speaking, I should be entering into my 2nd third of my life! (*alarm*)
Marrying someone is not as easy as just saying a "yes" and signing some documents. There are many other factors to take into consideration besides the presence of LOVE. People always say if you love him, you will accept every part of him. Well, lets be practical. Can you accept and willing to be assocciated with his everything - his character, height, weight, family, friends, job, his pet turtle, his fetish for women stockings, etc? There are countless things to ponder upon... That is why we have the "trying period" which is what we called the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
Of course love is important, and complicated too. Love is not measurable. How much do you love him? It's not possible to count. So when you believe there is love between the two of you, it is time to put ticks on the "Acceptance Form". (Perhaps being an Engineer, figures are important to me) Can you tolerate his snores every night? Can you understand his love for his Jack Russel? Can you communicate with him even without talking? (Hey, I'm able to do that with my friends!) Can you integrate into his family - aunties, uncles, cousins?
There are other cases as well, where there are all ticks on the Acceptance Form but something seems amiss in the love section. Since it is not measurable, we'll adopt Einstein Theory of Relativity... i.e how much you love him compared to your previous boyfriends. So what if there are 2 person who score full marks in only one of the section? How do you decide? Then here comes the flow diagram technique. (Wish i could draw the flow chart to illustrate) The last question: Who loves you more relatively? The above example is only applicable to those lucky ones who has at least 2 person to create that flow diagram. For those who hasn't, they would only be seaching and searching for that ultimate someone to score full marks in their Marriage Test.....

Holly shit!

I always have this thought when BIG nature calls for me in public places... What kinda position would you choose - the seated one or the squatting one? In case you dunno what I am talking about... it's shitting, or "da bian" in chinese, "pang sai" in hokkien. I try not to shit in public toilets if i can help it. I mean... look at those toilets... damp, stinko, with all kinds of things found on the floor... tissue paper, strips of receipts, sanitary pads, comb and handphone, if you are lucky!

Ok, the position. In terms of comfort, of course it's the seated method; those with super strong legs will take the squat method, else it would probably give you a cramp in your thighs after about 10mins of releasing those waste from your body. I'm referring to squatting at the toilet bowl dug in the ground, not squat ON the seated-kind of toilet bowl. I think only a gymnast or someone who is damn good at balancing will adopt the latter method. Despite the comfort in the seated position, don't you think it's very unhygienic to sit on a plastic plank where minutes ago, there maybe just someone who had just finished a cross country run and decided to take a poo there? Imagine sweat dripping from his forehead... down to his back and drip from the waist and land on the support of the toilet bowl???? I've heard of placing toilet paper around the seat before sitting down... oh well... quite an acceptable method I must say... but there are other things to worry about - the LANDING of the feces.

Even if you are very satisfied with the cleanliness of the toilet seat, don't you worry about the way your waste land in the toilet bowl? What if it's a super heavy piece of last night's dinner (smoked turkey with bacon and ham plus a bowl of Caesar Salad) that falls into the pool of toilet water, causing a loud "splat" sound and not to mention it splashing its way back to your a**? So in retrospect, the squatted position would minimise such consequences. Why? Because you can choose to position yourself slightly further away from the pool of water in the toilet bowl (do they have a term for that by the way?) and allow your feces to land on the walls of the toilet bowl... erm if you know what I mean. But as I've said, it's not an easy task to squat throughout your "nature-calls journey". So perhaps the best method worth considering is the "horse-stance" pose. Think chinese kung-fu. When a pugilist needs to master some kind of swordplay which requires substantial amount of qi, he would adopt the horse-stance in the beginning. This position will not make you suffer legs cramps as you can choose to move your body vertically up and down during the process, and you can avoid the water from splashing onto your a** given the reasonable distance between your a** and the toilet bowl.

Let's recap the method of shitting. (1) Seated, (2) Squat - on seated and non-seated designed toilet bowls, (3) "Horse-stance". Not easy being a human being.... we have to make decision every second. So, what are you having for lunch later?